Its RAW time! I missed the first few mintues because…life. That’s why.
RAW starts with Alexa Bliss and Uncle Kurt in the ring. Alexa gloats over her win from last night. Ms. Money in the Bank annnnd New Raw Womens Champion. Ronda comes out and looks pissed. Shenanigans in full effect. Alexa talks shit and Ronda beats the hell out of her. Kurt tries to stop her and Ronda beats the hell out of him…then some refs. Ronda slams Bliss through a table. Wow. Actually dead. Ronda is running wild brother.
Backstage, Uncle Kurt suspends Ronda Rousey for 30 days because you cant hit your boss.
Renee Young interviewed Ronda as she is walking out of the building. She says she’s coming back to kick Alexa’s ass.
Seth Rollins heads out to the ring! He issues a open challenge for the IC title. Out comes Ziggler and Drew McIntyre.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins:
Both come out of the gate trying finishing moves! What a start! Oh annnnd commercial. That’s okay, cant get too hyped. Back from commercial and Ziggler is laying into Seth. Drew is ringside, looking all brooding and what not. Ziggler controls most of this match. Seth finally gets a reversal and Dolph slams into the corner in grand fashion. At this point, my cable starts getting weird. Ill try to fill in where I can. As it comes back we go to commercial again. Spectrum is garbage when it comes to cable. Cable is in and out right now but as it comes back and Dolph is on the top rope and goes for a cross body but Seth rollins somehow reverses it into a Buckle Bomb! Drew gets up to distract but Seth bucks up to him. Dolph goes for a roll up, Seth reverses, then Dolph reverses back and gets the pin… wait what?!
Winner by rollup: Dolph Ziggler
Seth and Dolph get in each others faces but McIntyre starts beating on Rollins.
Renee Young interviews Drew and Dolph backstage. It was a thing…
Bobby Roode vs. Curt Hawkins:
Hawkins attacks Roode’s ribs right away and goes for a roll up. Bobby kicks and hits a Glorious DDT for the win.
Winner: Curt Hawkins
Literally no point to that match..
Braun Strowman comes out. He cuts a very Braun Strowman promo about all the things he’s done and how everyone will get hands. KO comes out. He congratulates Braun. Kevin wants to team up, trying to secure his #1 contendership for the Universal Title. Braun tries to powerslam him instead.
Sasha and Bayley are backstage. Bayley tries to pump her up. Sasha is resistant but relents and they are going to have a tag match later against the Riott Squad.
Woken Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt are up next!
Deleter of Worlds vs. Slater and Rhyno:
Before the match starts, The B team comes on the titantron and imitates the Deleter of worlds. They issue a challenge as well as really good impression. Back to the match, Slater and Rhyno attack a distracted Bray and Matt. Rhyno and Bray start out but Matt gets in quickly and takes over. He goes for a Twist of Fate and it gets reversed. Slater comes in, gets a little offense, then Rhyno comes in for a minutes. Then Slater again. Hardy hits a Side effect out of nowhere and Bray gets tagged in. He kills everyone. He does the creepy spider thing and goes for a sister Abigail but Rhyno breaks it up. There is a nice little exchange that leads to the double finisher that they do. The Kiss of Deletion. Bray and Matt win.
Winner by weird Finisher name: The Deleter of Worlds
Uncle Kurt and Constable Corbin are backstage and Kurt has to talk to Stephanie McMahon. He looks sad afterwards. Hes going to make an announcement later.
Jinder Mahal vs. Chad Gable:
Jinder talks about his match from last night. He says even though he lost last night, he won the battle of self-improvement. He talks trash about Chad. As soon as the bell rings he unloads on Gable. Gable gets hits a few suplexes on Gable but Jinder comes back quickly, just beating the hell out of him. Gable hits a big suplex to gain the upper hand, then gets Jinder in a top rope submission of some sort. Arm bar or something. Gable sends Mahal out of the ring. He tosses him back in and hits a monster moonsault on Jinder. Jinder kicks out of a pin and gets back in control and wins with the Kolas..Colas? However you spell it. He won with it. Not a bad match for one that was so short.
Winner by smiling a lot: Jinder Mahal
Backstage Riott Squad destroys stuff for no reason.
Riott Squad vs. Bayley and Sasha:
Sasha and Sarah start things out. Sarah over powers Sasha and Bayley tags herself in. Bayley gets the jump on Sarah Logan, being extra aggressive showing a great side. Sasha attacks Liv Morgan on the outside as she was going to attack Bayley. Hopefully there is some sort of build up for the impending Sasha/Bayley Feud here. Commercial time. Back and Sasha gets the tag to run wild on Liv Morgan. She hits a nice Meteora on Morgan and goes for the pin. Liv kicks and takes over. Bayley makes the save then tries to tag but Logan distracts her. Liv keeps going at Sasha but Sasha reverses and gets distracted by Ruby, then clobbered by Sarah Logan. Liv Rolls Sasha up and gets the win.
Winner by almost pulling Sasha’s pants off: Live Morgan and Sarah Logan.
Sasha starts to be a salty sally after the match. Her and Bayley stand face to face. Bayley pushes her down walks away. Corey Graves makes the excellent point that there isn’t anyone else that didn’t see that coming.
Backstage, Sasha and Bayley brawl and its savage. Food is all over the place.
In the ring is Uncle Kurt. He has an announcement. Its about Brock. Roman comes out… He wants to face Bork Laser. He beat him at Greatest Royal Rumble. Bobby Lashley comes out. I think they will feud. This could be good. Kurt says he is going to make a match and whoever wins that will face Brock. It’ll be some multi person match and Lashley and Roman will be in it. The Revival come out because they are confused about what segment it is. They want a match against Lashley and Roman. Lol what? Roman accepts and makes fun of Bobby in the same breath.
The Revival vs. Bobby Lashley and Roman Reigns:
Roman and Dawson start things off. Both tie up and exchange holds. Roman hits a good shoulder tackle on Dawson then drags him over to Lashley. Dawson gets some good shots on Lashley then tags Wilder in. Lashley murders both of them quickly and stares Roman down. Lashley goes to tag but Dawson pulls roman off the apron. The Revival randomly get in control and a good double team move. Bobby kicks from a pin attempt as Roman was laid out ringside for a second. He’s back now. Roman gets the tag in and powers up, doing all the Roman moves. The crowd seem oddly behind him. He beats down both members of the Revival then hits a Superman punch on Dawson and Wilder. Superman punches for everyone! As he is powering up for the spear, Lashley tags in and does a spear of his own. Michael Cole cant believe this could happen!!
Winner by using your partners finishing move: Lashley and Roman Reigns
Backstage is Constable Corbin and Uncle Kurt. They stroll and eventually run into Finn Balor. He wants another shot at the Universal Title. Corbin makes fun of him. KO shows up…and Braun shows up too. He lets everyone know he’s boss hog. He says Finn is his buddy and he is looking out for him. KO and Uncle Kurt walks away. Constable stands there smiling before he walks off.
No Way Jose vs. Mojo Rawley:
This goes just about how you would expect it. Jose has some fun, playful offense. Mojo uses his power. Jose gets a big come back. Mojo stops it and wins.
Winner by predictability: Mojo Rawley
Sasha is backstage and is trying to leave. Bayley comes out and tries to stop her but Sasha leaves. My wife brings up the point that Bayley is always nursing an injured shoulder. She should get that looked at.
Ladies and gentleman, Elias. He calls out Brock Lesnar.
Seth Rollins is backstage with the ever so lovely Renee Young. They talk about him losing his IC title and how he'll get it back next week in San Diego.
Finn Balor and Braun Strowman vs. Kevin Owens and Constable Corbin:
Corbin and Finn start things off. Baron is wearing his dress clothes still. He hits a monster Irish Whip to Finn in the corner. Baron tags in KO. Kevin still selling his injuries from last night. He hits Finn once then tags back out. Finn finally starts to get a comeback and tags in Braun. Baron takes off his vest. Things are serious. Braun beats on him for a second before going for KO. Corbin attacks Braun from behind. Mistake. Braun murders everyone. Finn gets tagged in and Braun throws him over the top rope onto Baron and KO. Back from commercial and things are insane again. KO is killing Finn. Braun is pacing. Corbin is clapping at ringside. Madness I tell you. Things slow down after a bit which is good because im getting tired and its hard to keep up. Braun comes in to save Balor, tags himself in, then destroys everyone. Baron jumps outta nowhere and clobbers Braun. He tries to pin but nooooo, Braun cant be pinned like that. Finn tags in and does Finn things. He reverses a chokeslam from Corbin into a DDT. Finn goes for a Coup de Gras but Corbin knocks him off of the top rope and hits a End of Days for the win.
Winner by wearing dress clothes: Baron Corbin and Kevin Owens
That's it folks. RAW is done. It wasn't too bad. The B team segment was my favorite thing for sure. Check out the site for wrestling goodness, follow my twitter for more wrambling @buuurch1, and as always, Take Care!