AHHHHHHHHH Internet! Its that time again. The Raw Report coming at you.
Brock Lesnar starts us off on Raw. Cleveland give him a great reaction as he and Paul Heyman walk out to the ring. Two weeks until Wrestlemania and tensions are high! Paul introduces Brock then goes over the shellacking that Roman received on behalf of the Mayor of Suplex City. He says the temporary suspension of Roman Reigns has been lifted. He says everyone expects Roman to come out but he isn’t in the arena this evening. He talks about Roman being a competitor, which he was raised as such, but says a man would be here tonight. Heyman keeps going on about how Roman isn’t a man and says Brock would be there. This promo is good but is almost as silly as Roman saying that Brock was Vince’s boy. It is what it is. The crowd abruptly gets loud. Roman is seen walking through the crowd. Michael Cole plays up Romans injury. Roman goes towards Brock with a chair but Brock lays him out. Roman gets the upper hand and starts beating the hell out of Brock with a chair. Roman goes for a superman punch but gets caught by Brock and gets a suplex for his troubles. Brock clobbers him with the steel steps. Brock picks up Roman and throws him into the ring. Lesnar is going to murder Roman apparently. More steel step shots. Night Night Roman. He continues to get beat down by Brock Lesnar. The crowd chants one more time, cheering the destruction of the future Universal Champion. Brock goes to leave but changes his mind and hits Roman with a F-5 on the steel steps still in the ring. Brock stands on the steps with his championship. A Beast above all. He points to the Wrestlemania sign, its next. The sign doesn’t look scared.
Nia Jax vs Mickie James
Nia is extra pissed, throwing Mickie around before we go to commercial. Annnnd back from commercial, Mickie is still getting beatdown from a very angry Nia Jax. Nia goes after Alexa Bliss, who was outside, but Mickie gets in a chop block from behind, attacking her knee. Back in the ring, Mickie continues to work on Nia’s knee. Nia ends up turning things around and hits a beautiful Samoan Drop on James. Bliss tries to sneak attack her after the match but Nia shakes it off because its Nia. They exchange words then Alexa runs away.
Winner: Nia Jax
We have a Ronda Rousey video package. Yep…
Cedric Alexander and Mustafa Ali vs Drew Gulak and TJP
The Heels have a strong showing from the beginning. Drake Maverick is on commentary, plugging 205 live and being British. Good little spots to show off 205 Live but not much story telling. Cedric shows off his excellent offense before being stopped by Gulak, who is kicked out by Ali, who then jumps outside on Gulak. Ali gets the tag but Cedric doesn’t know and hits the Lumbar check on TJP. The ref doesn’t count and Ali hits his finish off the top on TJP
Winner: Mustafa Ali and Cedric Alexander
Small Daniel Bryan vinette from last weeks Smackdown. My heart still swells at this.
Next is MizTV!
Miz and friends are in the ring. Miz says he has somethings to get out in the open. Asks Bo and Curtis how their Miztourage experience is? They say theyre happy but he is not. He says they failed him. Miz says he cant count on them. Both Bo and Axel try to plead him. Seth Rollins comes out. He says he’s not usually fan of MizTv but this is great stuff. He says he’s a guest and he just wants to watch. Miz chastises him about interrupting. Seth says he can help and says Bo and Axel feel under appreciated. Seth calls out Miz for not thanking them and how they helped him win the IC title. Miz isn’t having any of this. Bo chimes in, digging at the Miz. Finn Balor’s music hits and he walks out. He says Miz needs his help as well. Balor then ends up getting Bo to say Miz was a phony A lister who cant fight. Miz slaps Bo Dallas. Axel gets inbetween them. Miz says they need to focus, he’s 34 days away from being the best Intercontinental Champion, even better than Mr. Perfect. Axel turns around slowly. The crowd boos loudly. Miz backtracks then cancels MizTv. Miz tries to leave but is blocked by Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel. Finn and Seth laugh behind them. Something foul is afoot. Miz is surrounded. Bo and Curtis then attack Balor and Rollins. Miz planned it all along. The Good Brothers come down to the ring and take care of Curtis and Bo. Miz is all alone. Balor is in the ring with him. Miz goes to attack but Balor hits the sling blade. Rollins comes in but Miz gets away. The IC title is still in the ring. Balor picks it up and stares at it. Rollins snatches it from him and talks trash. Balor then attacks a sneaky Miz, coming in for an attack. Rollins knocks Miz out of the ring and then Finn Balor takes out Rollins and stands tall in the ring.
Asuka vs. Jamie Frost
Insert Random Interviewer interviews Jamie Frost (?) she says Asuka has never faced her. The match starts with a slap from Frost. Asuka kicks Frost’s head off. Less than 15 seconds…
Asuka dances around in the ring for no reason.
Michael Cole talks shit on The Ultimate Deletion, Corey Graves blasts him for that and we get a review of The Ultimate Deletion.
Matt Hardy appears on the screen. He talks about DELETING Bray Wyatt. He says the Great War is finally OVAH! He enters himself in the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. That’s about it.
Backstage is Sasha and Bayley. They have an awkward talk about their tension. Bayley doesn’t want to put up with Sasha’s nonsense. Bayley says Sasha keeps screwing her over because Sasha cant beat her. Bayley takes a dig at Sasha losing the title quickly and then catches a beat down from Sasha. Bayley eventually gets back up and they brawl. Its eventually broken up by refs and a lady in leather pants.
Braun heads out to the ring.
Braun Strowman vs Sheamus:
The Bar comes out to talk trash to Braun. They say he’s scary when his music randomly hits. They want to know who his partner is so they can prepare professionally. Braun says okay, if Sheamus beats him tonight. The Bar demands to know! Braun says maybe they’ll get an answer but he guarantees they’ll get these hands. Sheamus gets a good start but Braun quickly turns it around. Braun smashes for a while and we go to commercial. Im hoping the partner is a returning Samoa Joe. Back from commercial we get Sheamus taking control again of the match. His Mohawk is extra tall today. Braun doesn’t allow this to last too long and we get back to more of Braun killing Sheamus. Braun charges but Sheamus side steps and Strowman hits the ringpost. This has been a good back and forth. Braun might have tweaked his knee but still dominates. Braun hits the powerslam on Sheamus and gets the win. No teammate this week.
Kurt Angle comes out! He looks extra snazzy in his blue suit. He talks about his Mania match and out comes Ronda, all smiles. Kurt says shes ready for Wrestlemania. They go back and forth about their match at Wrestlemania. She’s not so great on the mic but the crowd still enjoys. Absolution enters randomly. Paige welcomes Ronda to Raw and says this is her show and house. She tries to makes friends with Ronda but she’s not having it. Says he has an Olympic gold medalist watching her back. Paige starts to break Ronda down about her match against the McMahons. Paige invites her to become the 4th member of Absolution. Ronda thanks her but says no… Paige isn’t pleased. Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville get in the ring. Sonya tries to attack her but gets hit with a sloppy clothesline. Mandy gets thrown, then gets put into some sort of arm lock. Kurt talks her out of destroying Mandy Rose. Uncle Kurt for the save.
The Good Brothers vs. The Miztourage:
We start with a commercial. When we come back the two teams are battling. The Miztourage puts good offense against Anderson. Gallows chants too sweet in the corner. Dallas and Axel show great teamwork on Anderson, slowing the pace down and keeping Anderson away from his partner. Machine Gun gets a moment of offense by hitting a big spine buster on Dallas. He tags Gallows in and Axel comes in as well. The big man cleans shop and yells a lot. They hit the Boot of Doom on Axel but the count is broken. Axel is magically back up but gets knocked down again by Anderson. The match is ended with a Magic Killer.
Winner: Gallows and Anderson
The lights accidentally go off and on quickly while they celebrate. Someone is getting fired….
Ladies and Gentlemen….Elias
He gets the usual Elias heat for ragging on a city, especially one like Cleveland. He says Lebron will leave them again (Truuuuue) and he has a song to sing. Its about Mania, Cleveland being terrible, annnnnd then is interrupted by Rhyno.
Elias vs Rhyno
Rhyno off to a good start, steamrolling Elias. Elias gets the upper hand and now controls the match. The match goes on a few more minutes then Elias hits the Drift Away and that’s all she wrote.
Elias attacks Heath Slater afterwards just because.
John Cena comes down to the ring
John Cena vs Kane
Kane starts out on the offensive, beating Cena down. Cena lands a few shots but catches a big boot and ends up outside. Kane follows and throws him into the barricade. Back in the ring and Kane goes for the pin. Undertaker chants begin. Kane get Cena in a head lock but Cena powers out and lifts Kane on his shoulders but falls down. John rolls out of the ring. Kane follows, stalking Cena. John gets tossed into the steel steps and we go to commercial. We come back with Cena and Kane battling near the stage. John gets suplexed on a barricade set up on the stage. Michael Cole gushes with excitement. Kane takes John back to the ring. Kane pulls off the ring pad. John sits up like the Undertaker and is standing behind Kane. He does his usual John Cena power up thing and now has control of Kane. John goes for a chokeslam and does it?! What the hell??? Business just picked up. Cena is openly Mocking the Undertaker, hoping to get some sort of sign. John grabs a table and sets it up. Kane sits up goes to attack Cena but gets it reverse. John goes for an AA but that gets reverese. The table has ended up in the corner. Kane and Cena go back and forth. Cena gets put through the table. Kane goes for a pin but John kicks. Kane finds another table and takes it to the ring. Kane sets the table up in the ring and gets ready to chokeslam Cena. John reverses and hits an AA through the table.
Winner: John Cena
John is looking for the Undertaker but there’s nothing. He grabs a mic and calls out the Undertaker again. Nothing. The crowd chants for Taker but we get nothing. John calls him a coward. John asks again for an answer. Yes or No. Anything. He voices his frustration. He says he’s got 1 week left that sums up his entire career. Do something or do nothing. John walks out of the ring, looking frustrated as ever. He gives one last throat slash before we go off the air.
That’s it for this week. Follow me on Twitter @buuurch1, check out the site for more great wrestling content, and as always, Take care!