RAW starts out with Uncle Kurt! People chant You Suck. But we know he doesn’t. He welcomes everyone to RAW. He talks about Ronda Rousey and her match at MITB with Nia Jax. As he speaks, Stephanie McMahon makes her return to RAW! She talks to him about how everything is water under the bridge and they had to do what was best for business. She picks at Kurt, passive aggressively, then says she’ll preside over the contract signing with Ronda and Nia. Kurt says he’s fine with it. Steph goes on saying he’s been too forgiving to Roman Reigns. Unsurprisingly, Roman Reigns comes out. A whole lot of booing going on. Roman says if Steph has something to say she needs to say it to him. Stephanie retorts as usual. Roman says he’ll destroy Stephanie’s backstage. Roman you sly devil. At this point, mid Roman Reigns promo about he is “screwed” by management, I drift off into a world where Seth Rollins is Universal Champ. All the sudden, like a choir of angels, Kevin Owen’s music hits. He comes out and thanks Roman for attacking Jinder Mahal last week, allowing him to make it to the Money in the Bank ladder match. He says he needs to know the truth about how people feel about him. Kevin says he actually really likes Roman Reigns. He tries to get the crowd to chant “Thank you Roman.” It doesn’t work for some reason. Kevin says Stephanie is right that she doesn’t play favorites. Kevin gets chummy with Stephanie but she gives him mean lady eyes and Kevin backs away. She makes a match between KO and Roman Reigns…RIGHT NOW!!!
Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns:
The match started during a commercial so we come back to lots of rest hold between KO and Roman. Kevin gets tossed out of the ring after catching a big shoulder tackle. Back in the ring Roman works over KO for a while. KO gets one second of offense that is stopped by slapping KO off the top rope. Roman has dominated most of this match. KO punches Roman and its shaken off quickly, Hulk Hogan style. KO, outside of the ring, gets a lucky break and hits a Superkick to Roman. He rolls him in the ring and we go to commercial. Back from commercial annnnd Roman is in control. KO knocks Roman off the top rope but Roman is up quickly and builds momentum. Owens moves out of the way of… some sort of move and hits a big DDT to stop Roman in his tracks. Roman, as usual, gets the upper hand again and charges KO. Kevin moves and rolls Roman up. 2 count. KO hits a Super kick but Roman hits a Superman punch. 2 count! KO catches a Spear outside the ring but Jinder “No Carbs” Mahal attacks the Large Canine outside the ring and proceeds to beat him down.
Winner by attack from a sneaky Canadian man: Roman Reigns
Jinder and Kevin beat Roman down after the match. BURN IT DOWNNNN! Seth Rollins runs down for the save and burns the entire freaking ring.
During the commercial somehow we got a tag match…So here it is
Shield 2.5 vs. The Canadian Maharaja:
Roman and Seth are in control as we come back from the break until Jinder hits a bit elbow to Roman and the heels have it. Kevin and Jinder take turns clobbering Roman. Reigns gets his usual comeback time and goes for the tag but Jinder pulls Seth off of the ring. Kevin starts to wreck Roman annnnd we go to another commercial. Back from break and Kevin has a hold of Roman, which ends with KO catching a big boot. Seth and Jinder tag in and Seth just runs around hitting everyone. Seth is fired up, which makes me fired up. My dogs and wife are scared now. My neighbors are probably afraid too. They better get over it! Jinder some how gets control again hits a, I wanna say reverse Lumbar Check on Rollins. Seth reverses a Jinder attack after that, Kevin tags in, drops Rollins but Roman breaks the pin. Chaos ensues. Lots of kicks, Super kicks, and its finished off with a Curb Stomp.
Winner by tag teaming with your old partner whom you turned on: Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns
Jinder beats the crap out of Roman at the top of the stage with a chair. Im actually excited for this feud. These guys can work well together and they both get tons of heat.
Sami Zayn comes down to the ring to do a segment that will probably bury Sami into the depths of hell. Like Zack Ryder territory. RIP Sami. Sami invites out the Lashley sisters out. Its random people dressed up as women. This has already bombed. Im going to grab a beer. Lashley finally comes out. I think my eyes are bleeding. This train wreck ends with Bobby getting attacked by the fake sisters and Sami. Bobby, like a shopping cart full of milk jugs, plows through all of them. If you’re watching this, I’m sorry. Its finally done. We got through this together.
Alexa Bliss is backstage with the Elegant Goddess that is Renee Young. Renee talks about Alexa’s match tonight but Bliss starts talking about Roman and Visagoths. Rude.
Ember Moon vs. Alexa Bliss
Bliss and Moon lock up and Alexa takes control right away. Ember makes a quick come back though, making her look really good. She goes for a baseball slide and attacks Bliss on the outside. Bliss ends up sending Moon into the barricade, then takes her back to the ring, working over the shoulder she hurt. Commercial break #1. Back and Bliss is still in control of Moon, working on the arm. Moon breaks the hold and starts laying into Alexa. Mickie tries to interfere but the Ref kicks her out and she freaks out. Moon clobbers her and Alexa goes for a roll up. Moon kicks at 2. Ember makes it to the top rope and his the Eclipse for the win.
Winner by someone who is also a Goddess apparently: Ember Moon
Finn and Braun are backstage with Stephanie McMahon. They want a match with McIntyre and Ziggler. Steph tries to turn Braun and Finn against each other. Finn Balor vs. Braun Strowman tonight. Braun crushes an apple. I feel the same way about apples too buddy. Finn looks distressed.
No Way Jose vs. Baron Corbin
Baron is in control, as he should be, from the beginning. This match doesn’t have much to it. Baron stays in control. Jose gets a reversal and gets momentum on his side. Jose goes for his finisher but its reversed. Baron hits a Deep 6 and End of Days for the win. Im not sure the point of this feud, if you want to call it a feud.
Winner by….Well the winner is Baron Corbin
Backstage is Uncle Kurt and Chad Gable. McIntyre and Ziggler shows up. Everyone stares each other down. Drew is intimidating, Ziggler tries to be funny, Chad is still a little fella, and Uncle Kurt looks overwhelmed by lines. There is a match tonight. Return of Jason Jordan.
The B team vs. The Fashion Police
Axel and Breeze start us out. Axel gets overwhelmed right away and Dallas gets tagged in. Breeze tags Fandango in who does a little dance before laying into Bo. Axel gets a quick tag and The B team hit a double team move of some sort for the win.
Winner by not dancing: The B Team
I absolutely love this angle. Im sad The Fashion Police lost but still. 2-0 baby!
Dallas and Axel celebrate after the match, riding a chair from the stage down to the ring a la Stone Cold!
Stephanie McMahon is out in the ring for the contract signing of the Nia Jax/Ronda Rousey match. Steph sows discontent between the two. Nia has incredible eyebrows. Ronda has awesome shoes. Steph keeps on with the talking trash until Nia has had enough and says she’ll beat Ronda at Money in the Bank. They both sign and Ronda moves the table away. She’s seen these before. She knows how it works. Ronda is going to take that title and shes going to take her arm! Ronda is collecting body parts.
Chad Gable vs. Dolph Ziggler
Started during the break so again, I missed the beginning. Gable is in control of Dolph from the start, using various holds to keep Ziggler put. Dolph ends up getting a break and a mighty Super Kick to Gable for a 2 count. Ziggler has Gable in a headlock while Drew McIntyre broods outside the ring. Ziggler and Gable go back and forth for a while, exchanging a variety of moves building an excitement that has been lacking this episode of RAW. The match ends abruptly with Ziggler hitting a monster Super Kick and Gable goes nigh nigh
Winner by Superkick Party: Dolph Ziggler
McIntyre hits the Claymore on Gable for no reason and that’s all she wrote.
Dana Brooke vs. Liv Morgan vs. Sarah Logan vs. Natalya
The Riott Squad members attack the other two. This seems similar to the match that was on Smackdown last week. Dana Brooke has a decent showing but gets knocked out of the ring. Sarah and Liv face each other down in the ring but just laugh and go back to attacking Natalya. Dana and Liv have a spot outside the ring where they both take each other out and it looked great. Nattie wins with a Sharpshooter after a nice looking Discus Clothesline
Winner by submission moves that hurt in real life: Natalya
Nattie is in MITB! Huzzah! She gets interviewd by Charlie and Natalya gushes about being friends with Ronda Rousey. Interesting to see how that turns out.
Elias is in the ring. Usual Elias thing here. This man is gold and deserves to be on TV every week. He’ll probably be interrupted by Bobby Roode. He is.
Bobby Roode vs. Elias
Elias attacks Roode before the match even starts. He beats down Roode more and Bobby still has his robe on. Bobby is pissed and throws his robe at Elias. He proceeds to beat the hell out of him. Back from random commercial and Elias is now in control. He hits a big knee to the chest and pins for 2. Bobby kicks. Elias continues to wear down Roode, raking his face, kneeing him, and putting him in a modified Cobra Clutch. Bobby gets his comeback and the crowd starts to get behind it. Roode goes for a Glorious DDT but its reversed to a Roll up but he kicks. Bobby misses on a flying clothesline, gets knocked off of the top rope a minute later, and catches a Drift Away from Elias.
Winner by Wow RAW is really dragging on tonight: Elias
Elias gets wrecked by Braun Strowman for no reason as Strowman walks out to the ring. Best part of RAW.
Finn Balor vs. Braun Strowman
Finn starts out by attack Braun, going for the legs in hopes that he can get some advantage. Braun doesn't have time for that shit and starts clobbering him. Lots of clubbing blows to Balor and lots of yells because its Braun and he can do that. He punts Finn out of the ring and this thing looks close to over. Braun just tosses him around. Finn finally gets some offense in as he ducks and dodges a charging Strowman. He hits lots of kicks but made the mistake of going toe to toe with Strowman and Finn is shut down. Finn catches a big boot and pin attempt but kicks at 1.5. Strowman ends up outside and Balor keeps on him, getting small hits in before Strowman stops it again. Finn makes a mistake and slaps Strowman, Strowman retaliates with a slap of his own that sends Finn out of the ring. Braun goes to steam roll him outside the ring but Finn reverses with a Sling Blade. Finn hits a dropkick that sends Strowman over the barricade. Braun rises up and grabs him but Finn kicks him. He gets more crazy Flying Finn stuff in and evens the odds. Braun makes it back in the ring before the 10 count and he runs through Finn. Braun charges Finn in the corner but Finn moves and Strowman smashes the ringpost. Balor goes for a Coup De Gras but Strowman catches him. Braun proceeds to hit two running Powerslams and gets the win.
Winner by slamming little Finn into oblivion: Braun Strowman
That's it for tonight folks. Braun Strowman has been the best part of RAW, along with The B team. Other than that, Raw wasn't so great. It was not good times. Smackdown Live seems like greener pastures right now. We will see! Check out our site for wrestling goodies, follow me on twitter @buuurch1, and as always, Take Care!