Backstage stuff with Paige, Mandy Rose, Renee Young, and others. Paige makes Big Cass vs. Samoa Joe vs. Daniel Bryan for tonight.
Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Tye Dillinger
Tye pushes Shinsuke to start things off and Nakamura starts laying into him. Heel Nakamura has been my favorite this year. Tye gets small bits of offense that are snuffed out by Shinsuke. Commercial time! Back annnnd Shinsuke and Dillinger are still playing the same game from earlier. Tye gets offense, Shinsuke uses his striking to keep him down. Everytime Shinsuke knocks Dillinger down, he gets the ref to start the count, poking at AJ Styles and their Last Man Standing match at Money in the Bank. Shinsuke wins after a killer Kinshasa.
Winner by being the foreign Heel: Shinsukeeeee NAKAMUUURRAAAAA
After the match Shinsuke grabs a mic and counts to 10. A message has been sent to AJ Styles.
Backstage interview with AJ Styles! Uncle Hoot rants for a few minutes.
Aiden English and Rusev are out to introduce Lana.
Lana and Naomi have a dance competition that ends with Lana attacking Naomi. She also slaps the shit out of Jimmy Uso for no reason. Naomi attacks her back, Rusev and Aiden get superkicked, and we, the WWE Universe are left confused still.
New Day is backstage yelling for no reason with Mr. Bootiesworth. Miz is in the locker room with The Bar, chopping pancakes like Karate Kid.
New Day vs. The Miz and The Bar
My distaste for 6-man tags still stands so you’ll get the highlights and you’ll like it! Just kidding, you don’t have to like it. Nothing special has happened so far. Miz did some heel things and Kofi paid for it. Sheamus is very, very pale and it just amazes me. I forgot about the SOS and how ridiculous that move is. Xavier Woods is probably the most over person in the New Day. This match has been awesome, everyone deserves the win, including Charles Robinson.
Winner by harnessing the power of a balanced breakfast: The New Day
Backstage is Renee Young with the Good Brothers. Absohootly is now a new word.
Carmella comes down to commentary for the next match!
Mandy Rose vs. Asuka:
Asuka is attacked by Sonya Deville on the way to the ring. Mandy takes it to Asuka right away. Beating her into a corner. Asuka eventually gets out of the corner but Mandy takes control again. They’re trying to make Mandy Rose look strong and they are doing it. Mandy beats the hell out of Asuka as we go into commercial. Carmella is just there talking trash as usual. Surprisingly good match between the two that ends with Mandy Rose tapping to an Asuka Lock.
Winner by being the only one wearing actual facepaint: Asuka
Carmella comes to the ring to go face to face with Asuka. She holds up the title and the crowd doesn’t seem to care.
Backstage is Becky Lynch and Charlotte Flair. They talk about Money in the Bank. Paige walks by randomly in the background and interjects herself. She talks about a tea party and walks away. That was…a thing.
Sin Cara and Andrade “Cien” Almas/ Zelina Vega backstage thing.
Samoa Joe vs. Big Cass vs. Daniel Bryan:
Everyone goes after Cass first. He rolls out of the ring and the real match can start. Joe slaps the hell out of him then starts with the punches. He beats on Bryan in the corner. Daniel goes for a backflip but slips. He still manages something, then does a suicide dive on Cass. Joe does a suicide dive as well because he doesn’t want to be shown up, and then Bryan jumps off the top rope into everyone. Commercial time. Back from break and Big Cass is no longer dead. He is battling with Joe, who is murdering everyone currently. Big Cass cant seem to catch a break in this match. Cass does add an extra element to this match and I cant say that im mad he is in it. Im by no means a Big Cass fan but the dude isn’t too shabby in the ring. Cass and Joe tango in the ring, but all the sudden Bryan comes in and starts destroying everyone. Daniel Bryan hits a top rope Hurricanrana and Joe goes flying. He goes for the running knees and is laid out by Cass. Things slow down as Cass works on Bryan. Things pick up after a commercial with Bryan hitting Yes kicks on any and every one. The end of this match got really chaotic so let summarize. Bryan gets the Yes lock on Cass, Joe breaks it up right away and gets a big knee from Bryan. Joe gets a Chocina (sp?) clutch on Daniel Bryan and the last spot for MITB!
Winner by sweet ass submission move: Samoa Joe
Cass kicks Daniel Bryan because he is mad. Be a star Big Cass.
That’s it folks. Smackdown was pretty alright this week. 3.5 pancakes out of 5. Eat it Meltzer. Check out our site for more wrestling goodies, check out my twitter @buuurch1 for shenanigans, and as always, take care.